Friend: hey, what are you doing?
Me: Nothing. Just daydreaming.
Friend: You should write a book.
Me: *thinks about it for two seconds then gets excited*
Me: You're absolutely right!!
BOOM!! That ladies and gents was the beginning of my journey as an aspiring author. It was also the start of an on going conversation between God and I. I probably get more revelations about not only myself, but also about God, how he operates, and what being led by him actually looks like just from writing this book. Almost every chapter I write comes with its own set of lessons in someway shape or form. Welp! This week's lesson was rather interesting.
I'd spent the last two months reworking the first 12 chapters of my book to realign them with a few shifts I'd made in the storyline. It took a lot but for the most part reworking them was smmoootthhh sailing. That is... until I got to chapter 8. Reworking one chapter took me anywhere from a day to a week max. Chapter 8 decided to have a diva moment for about 3 weeks straight and take difficult a level that had me looking like the picture above. At first I thought the issue was the personality of the primary character in that chapter, so I changed his personality. When that didn't work, I tried changing locations, the plot, the dialogue content and the characters who were supposed to be in it. I must've started it over 3 or 4 times but nothing was working. Though I had several good pages, it just never felt right or finished. *insert picture above here* Finally God threw me a bone and told me flat out, that I didn't need the chapter.
Now had this been any other situation, I would have said: "Pause! I just spent 3 weeks working on this and now you're telling me to just scrap it altogether? What was the point of me working on it to begin with??" However, in this instance I understood exactly why I needed to write this chapter even though it was never going to make it into the book. Chapter 8 revealed a lot of the backstory, not only for this particular character but for the whole book. While I had a pretty good sense of my backstory, had I not written this chapter I wouldn't have been able to fill the holes in my backstory. I also wouldn't have been able to understand my character as well or give him the kind of depth he needed. Normally I will keep reworking a chapter until I hit a stride that feels right, but when God told me to scrap the chapter, I felt such a relief because it made sense. Leaving this chapter in my book the way it was written, would have hurt the whole book in the long run. (Kind of like that boyfriend/girlfriend you know you need to break up with before you lose your mind.)
Sometimes, we go through things, bad relationships, horrible jobs, meetings that don't yield any fruit and other negative situations that leave us looking at God like: "Sir!! Why did you put me through that? You could have told me *insert situation here* wasn't going to yield any good or even useable fruit. That entire situation was a complete waste of my time." When in reality that situation was neccesary for you to learn something about yourself, that situation, the people involved or to simply to help you grow in an area. What you find out later is that the lessons from that trial or tribulation always! resurfaces later in your life to help push you forward in another area. For instance, I took chapter 8 out of my book, but when I hit chapter 13, I ended up needing some of the elements I had written in the old chapter 8. What had once taken me 15-18 pages to write in the old chapter 8, took me 8 pages to write in chapter 13. Chapter 13 was much more efficiently written, it flowed better, the characters (that I would have never considered using before) fit perfectly and I was able to get that primary character across much better than I was able to in the old Chapter 8.
Everything thing God puts you through has a purpose. You might not see it manifest right now but it will come back around the mountain eventually. Just wait!!